Happy Mother’s Day to all those mamas out there! While we are all working hard to be a good mom, sometimes things don’t exactly go as planned. Here is a short list of ways I’m a bad mom, which is obviously meant as a humorous way to look at this role as mom.

You’ll see that this isn’t about mom shaming or placing doubt in my momming skills, it’s just a tongue and cheek declaration on the ways I may not stand up to the standards set for motherhood. I think some of you may enjoy the list:

• I tell white lies. The ice cream truck is literally called “the music truck” in our house. “We ran out of batteries” has come out of my mouth more than once for an annoying sounding toy.
• I throw out their handmade artwork. Yes I keep some things, mostly that includes handprints, but I can’t seriously keep EVERYTHING they ever produce with their bare hands, right? The trick is to do it on a day they’re in school and try to remember to throw the garbage bag out before they get home! Luckily my girls have Dory memories and never ask or look for the missing scribble.
• They don’t know you can actually take toys home from the store. As you see on our IG stories, we play with the same few toys every time we’re out Target but we’ve never taken one home!
• I eat desserts even when it’s not time to eat them. Nope they don’t have cookies at all hours of the day. But when they are both in their rooms for nap or quiet time, you may find me enjoying a (well deserved) cookie!
• I lick the bowl. My kids don’t even know that licking the bowl of cookie batter is a thing. But you bet that I may spend an extra few minutes “washing” that bowl at the sink with my back to them and, of course, I’m having a lick.
• I let my younger daughter touch my older daughter’s toys when she’s not home. Even if I promised Brielle that Hailey wouldn’t play with XYZ toy, once she’s at school, it’s free game. Sorry, Brielle!
• I’ll never buy them a bubble wand. Those are the biggest gimmicks when it comes to outdoor toys! Most bubble wands need to be almost all the way full to even produce bubbles so once they are spilling some out (as you know it’s bound to happen) the thing is rendered useless!

So tell me, if you read this list, are you also a bad mom?