You may have gotten a chuckle from my part 1 of this series which touched base on such common topics as sleeping babies, baby poop and developmental milestones. Where here are 15 more “Facts” about parenting that I hope will make parents laugh, smile or nod their head in agreement.
FACT: You will find the weirdest things in your child’s clothes. Brielle went through a phase where she thought it was funny to put her toys in her shirt, footie pjs or even pants. We took out pieces that were obviously stuck where they shouldn’t be but sometimes it was a party during diaper changes with pom poms or other small Fisher Price characters leaping out!
FACT: Kids love eating stickers. Brielle has been known to have eaten two stickers this past year. One was given at a company picnic and we caught it in her mouth, but only after seeing the red coloring it originally had was now gone from chewing. The second she found at a kids birthday party and it was only discovered after it went through the whole digestive track and only came out through her dirty diaper. Brielle pooping a glitter sticker definitely makes her my daughter!
FACT: Becoming a mother means losing your immune system. At least this has been the case for me! Growing up I was always got one cold each season. But since having Brielle I seem to always get her sniffles, I got coxsackie virus from her when she brought it home from daycare, and a stomach virus hit me days after she had a very sick night. If I’m giving her all these great immune system strengthening milk, why can’t it help me fight these illnesses?
FACT: Kids love to poop in a freshly changed, new diaper. Seriously, you didn’t even finish washing your hands from changing them and they’ve already soiled the new one you put on.
FACT: Toddlers mimic everything you do, good or bad. So watch what you do around them! GOOD THINGS LEARNED: watching you do the laundry and helping you load it. Learning to bring their dirty dishes towards the sink. Cleaning up their toys before bed. BAD THINGS LEARNED: touching the buttons on the dishwasher (which you can’t baby proof). Eating a cookie when it isn’t dessert time. Tip: Try not to undo baby proofed actions in their view!
FACT: The day you do the laundry, vacuum, or clean the house will be the day your child soiled their clothes, spills everything and makes it all a mess. You can always soak the clothes between washings but the spilling of crumbs the DAY I vacuum is the thing that bothers me most!
FACT: You can’t imagine how much sand can be found in a toddler’s clothes and shoes. After a fun session of sandbox play, the extra sand seems to be never ending as you take off every piece of clothing and shoes!
FACT: You spend months trying to teach them things to be independent then you wish they’d let you help them when they get in the “I do it” mode. Man that stage is tough on a parent’s patience. I just want to put the sock on quickly or buckle that car seat so we can hit the road!
FACT: Dresses are a bad idea for a crawling baby. This isn’t something I learned this year as thankfully Baby Hailey isn’t on the move yet, but something I remembered from Brielle’s first six months. They’re cute but aren’t functional once they’re on the move!
FACT: Sometimes it’s ok to lie to your kids. Example: we call the ice cream truck that drives down our street daily (while smoking a cigarette) the “music truck.” Isn’t it weird that the really loud annoying toy always runs out of batteries at our house and we’re fresh out of that kind? Didn’t you know that cauliflower is white broccoli? Sorry, but I don’t feel bad about these lies.
FACT: Chubby babies are cute. There aren’t many times in life that being a chubby is cute but here’s a good example of when it is!
FACT: The funniest show you can watch at night is the video monitor in your kid’s bedroom. We watched Brielle take the little racecar from her first Nascar race and race it along the crib rails one night. We also were able to watch her learn to unzip her sleepsack and caught her before completely undressing. Usually though, you’ll watch the video to see her read the SAME ELSA BOOK to her stuffed Elmo every night.
FACT: When you become a parent, you learn the art of sneaking snacks for yourself. You may or may not find Derek or myself doing an extra lap around the kitchen/living room floor so eat some M&Ms out of Brielle’s view. And there may have been that one (or two or two hundred) times that we left the fridge door open an extra minute while we ate a cookie when it wasn’t dessert time. When she’s on her bike in front of us going for a walk around the neighbor, it is a perfect time to eat a piece of candy while behind her view.
FACT: Dressing rooms confuse toddlers. At least they confuse mine. She always wonders why we’re going into this tiny space and asks “Where’s the potty?” She’s also not sure why mom undresses to put clothes on and then takes them off again, yet I get mad at her for taking off her shoes and socks on the bench while she waits.
FACT: One animal can have several names. Why are they sometimes bunnies and sometimes rabbits? And a pony is also a horse? These animals also make different noises. When asked “what does a bird say” my toddler will not tell you “tweet tweet” in a sweet voice. Nope, she’ll yell “CAW CAW” since that’s the bird sound she picked up from a beloved animal book we read.